


Addict

by wellthatjusthappend



Series: Story Requests [26]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, DA Prompt, In case that wasn't implied, M/M, Masochism, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Esteem Issues, Short, addiction to pain, read with caution, self destructive behavior, warning: this gets a bit dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 03:44:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20251630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellthatjusthappend/pseuds/wellthatjusthappend
Summary: Jason would admit (only to himself) that he liked pain a little more than he should. Most people assumed that he was just reckless or that Bruce hadn’t trained him as well as he’d trained the others.That wasn't quite the whole truth though.





	Addict

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: _Short JayDick or JayTim- but the pairing isn't the focus. Instead, Jason is working through a serious pain-addiction, wherein he is pulling off jobs and allowing himself to get hurt on purpose. Maybe he gets in too deep, essentially captured/kidnapped by (inset villain) and roughly (sexually?) mistreated.  
Dick or Tim (potential lover or platonic friend/family) come to the rescue, but Jason might not be ready to go just yet. The rough treatment fills a need that had been previously unfulfilled._
> 
> Prompt and tags says it all. Be careful folks, it's going to get angsty.

Jason would admit (only to himself) that he liked pain a little more than he should. Most people assumed that he was just reckless or that Bruce hadn’t trained him as well as he’d trained the others. How else would you explain the way that small time thugs would bruise and cut him regularly?

It took a while for Tim to call him out on it. 

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Tim said, leaning on the doorway to the bathroom where Jason was perched using the mirror to stitch up the newest cut on his side. 

“Practicing my suture skills,” Jason said without looking up, “You know, I think I might be able to give the old sewing club a run for their money.”

“You certain are getting enough practice these days,” Tim said darkly. 

“Eh, bastards have to get lucky sometimes I guess,” Jason said dramatically as he tied off a knot. 

“Or you’re allowing openings they should never have,” Tim accused.

Jason tried not to still too obviously.

“Don’t even try to deny it,” Tim cut him off as Jason opened his mouth, “When you’re up against more skilled and dangerous opponents they never land a scratch on you, but somehow idiot small-time thugs are able to all the time? I’m not buying it.”

Jason supposed he had decided to date the smart one. 

“It’s not like I ever lose a fight,” Jason grumbled, turning away so he could wash his hands, “I just get bored sometimes.”

“Bored,” Tim repeated, like he didn’t believe it. 

Jason didn’t believe it either. 

Sometimes he thought some essential screw had fallen lose when the Joker beat him to death, because since coming back pain had felt not unlike like an addiction. He felt _ worse _ on days when his body was whole and healthy. It made him conscious of fantom aches and pains and made his nightmares seem to crowd in on him even during the waking hours. But a few nice bruises or cuts that he could press his fingers against always brought everything back into perspective. He could close his eyes, breathe through the pain, and find himself grounded in the moment. 

Once Jason figured that out, it was hard not to go seeking after the feeling. He was careful. He never let anyone land anything serious, and never took hits in a fight he couldn’t control absolutely. He _ needed _ the pain to function in everyday life. 

That didn’t mean he liked Tim starting to figure that out. It was hardly something he was proud of. 

“Whatever you’re doing, just stop it,” Tim sighed running a hand through his hair, “I don’t like seeing you hurt all the time.”

Jason swallowed.

“‘Kay,” he mumbled. The guilt would be even worse next time when he couldn’t help it. 

“Come on,” Tim smiled tiredly at him, pulling him close enough to kiss gently, “Let’s go back to bed.”

Jason could never relax around gentleness. It made him conscious of everything breakable around him and how he was bound to fuck everything up one of these days.

* * *

It was Roman Sionis of all people who brought things to a head. It would almost be ironic if it wasn’t so awful. 

The thing was, Roman was dangerous, but more in the way someone with a big gun was dangerous rather than someone who you had to actively engage in a fight with. Jason wasn’t worried; he always had the bigger gun anyway. He wasn’t ever reckless with Roman- mostly because the guys was a grade A _ asshole- _but he’d slipped up this time. 

Roman had managed pull a knife on him and cut through a gap in his armor. 

The sheer relief he felt for the way his brain lit up in pain was almost staggering. He’d been trying to do as Tim asked and not seek out injuries on purpose, but-

“Oh? What’s this?” Roman was on him in an instant and Jason knew he must have made some sort of sound. 

This was very bad. 

“The big bad Hood gets off on a little pain?” Roman’s voice was in his ear, his fingers pressing into Jason’s injury making him grunt as everything went fuzzy and unimportant, “Don’t worry, I’d be happy to help you with that.”

It took Jason a moment to realize he was being bent over the ruins of Roman’s desk and that there was a hand undoing his belt and the knife now at his throat. There was no question about what Roman planned to do to him with the way he was already rocking lewdly against Jason’s ass. It was going to hurt and Roman was going to be as cruel as possible about the whole thing. 

Jason could also escape at any moment if he wanted to. He was stronger than Roman, more trained, _ faster _… He could put a stop to this at any moment, but- but-

“Hood!” Tim cried out crashing through the window. Roman jerked and crushed above him before Tim was knocking him off and taking him down quickly and efficiently. 

Jason pressed his head to the desk as he felt the anxiety and sickness rise in his chest. This would all be easier if he was drugged or something. He didn’t have any excuses left. 

“Jason,” Tim was frantically turning him over. The cameras must be down if he was calling him by his name, “Talk to me, where are you hurt?”

“Side,” Jason grunted as Tim helped him to the floor. He saw Tim bite his lip as he examined it and knew what he must be thinking.

Deep enough not to be trivial, but not serious enough to have stopped Jason from fighting back.

“Did he do anything else to you?” Tim asked carefully as he applied first aid. 

“No,” Jason couldn’t look at him. 

“...are you sure?”

“You can say it y’know,” Jason said bitterly, “I’m fucked up. I don’t even know why you bother with me anymore.”

“He was going to rape you,” Tim clarified. 

“I know,” Jason swallowed. 

“...Jason-”

“_ I know _ ,” Jason hissed, “I know, and I _ wanted it _.”

Tim was quiet.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Jason pressed his head to his knees. 

Jason flinched when Tim tentatively laid a hand on his shoulder.

“We need to get out of here,” Tim said finally.

Jason nodded mutely. Trust Tim to be practical. 

“Then-” Tim breathed, seeming to choose his words carefully, “Then I need you to talk to me. About _ all _ of it. I want to help, but I can’t if you don’t talk to me.”

The last thing Jason wanted to do was talk about how shameful he was. But he supposed he owed it to Tim for pulling his ass out of this mess. 

“We’ll figure this out,” Tim said, and it sounded like he was convincing himself more than Jason. 

After all, what was there to figure out? Jason just must be more broken than he thought, that was all. One big self destruct button jammed in with no off button. He doubted there would be much to salvage once Tim realized that. 

“Jason?”

“Yeah,” Jason let himself be pulled to his feet, “Let’s talk.”

**Author's Note:**

> I doubt Tim is going to give up on him. Whether or not they stay in a relationship, Jason needs help and Tim can't quite turn away from that. Even if it's just Jason coming to terms with what he wants and finding safe (aka not the hands of criminals) outlets for it. He eventually might like BDSM, but right now he probably can't engage in that safely/in healthy ways. 
> 
> If you've ever wanted to send a story request, feel free! Besides AO3, I'm on [Tumblr](https://wellthatjusthappend.tumblr.com/mywriting),[DA](https://www.deviantart.com/wellthatjusthappened), and Discord. Same username. 
> 
> If you want a continuation of a story you see here, you can always send another prompt. FQAs listed on my [writing](https://wellthatjusthappend.tumblr.com/mywriting) page as well as shorter requests that won't make it to AO3.


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